Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Downfall of Humankind

I....wow. Huh.
Where to start.

I have a not-secret but slightly shameful addiction.

Fashion and chick magazines. InStyle and Cosmo, for example.
I can't afford 99% of the stuff in InStyle, and I have one too many firing neurons for the stuff in Cosmo. None-the-less, I love 'em.

Until now.

If you're sensitive or delicate...run away now. I may go off.
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Yeah, I didn't think anyone would leave.

I just stumbled across an article in Cosmo titled..ahem..:
What His Down-There Grooming Says. Clues to his boyfriend potential.

Yes, I did so say that. His down-there grooming.
Because we aren't grown uppy enough to say pubic hair.

Anyway, after my initial chortle, I made the mistake of reading the arti-- ...er..words (which, by the way, have a little HOT icon next to 'em in the index. Just so you know it's gonna be naaaughty!)

I am absolute NOT going to go into detail on the examples of Manscaping (their word!) and how to read 'em.
Because fucking seriously? EW. Ew ew ew ew ew.
Maybe be a tad more concerned about the 3 restraining orders from ex girlfriends. Or how he has his mom's framed swimsuit photo in his underwear drawer.

Or maybe...MAYBE...he's a pretty typical guy..and just does not give a rat's ass about his pubic hair/its message to the world?!

I have impacted wisdom teeth..so..pretty much anything is pissing me off right now...but..EW.

I know. Supposedly funny, and kinda bad grrrl.
Gag. A. Maggot.

This just kinda stuck me in the not-fucking-funnybone.
I know, I know. What did I expect.
Not that, I tell ya.

My heart goes out to any man with.. ah.."totally untamed" pubic hair.
Just ask if the chick reads Cosmo before you get attached. :|

Salsa recipe for MizB

* 3 lbs plum/roma tomatoes (or whatever you have around!)
* 2 jalapeños (seeded, if you aren't a masochist like me)
* 1 large sweet onion, sliced
* 2 green onions
* 4 teaspoons chopped, roasted garlic (TicTacs for later)
* handful-sized bunch of your herb of choice
* 1 teaspoon salt (SMOKED sea salt is what makes my salsa the 'party favorite')
* 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar (sounds nasty, try it anyway)
* 1 tablespoon lime juice
* 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
* 1/2 teaspoon Mexican oregano
* 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 tablespoon olive oil

Huge "pain in the ass" version:
Fire up the outdoor grill. If you use propane, make a boat out of foil for wood chips, or use the fancy wood chip metal things. Make sure you take the grate off first.

Clean and prepare vegetables for grilling. I wrap them in a foil packet.

When the grill is hot place wood over coals or gas flame.

Replace grate, and place tomatoes, jalapeños and onions on a hot grill - over hot coals, or low flames.
.
Lightly blacken all on both sides. 10 minutes per side MAX usually works for me.

Place jalapeño peppers, tomatoes, onions and herbs and pulse in a food processor until just coarsely chopped.

Transfer to a bowl, add remaining ingredients and mix well.
------------------
Sam's version:

Get a BIG cast iron skillet good and hot...blacken/roast the damned veggies in the house where the air conditioner is.

Continue steps from there :D
~~~~~~~~~
Makes about 4 pounds. I usually keep a pound to eat within a week and separate the remaining into 1/2 pound baggies and freeze. Thaw (duh) and warm it a little before serving.


Photo, as promised!
I like mine chopped pretty fine (I don't do onion chunks).
Michael asked why I had the camera and a bowl of salsa..hehe

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Babble

Tomorrow is my little brother's birthday. I can't believe he's going to be 19. How in heck did THAT happen?!
Got his gifts, and I'm making the bruschetta he wanted.

Spent a lot of time outside in the garden/yard today. My haul included blackberries, peaches, banana and bell peppers, Roma tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini and yellow squash.
I finally feel like the back-breaking labor of planting this stuff was worth it!
Our soil leaves a lot to be desired...things like..oh..dirt. I think we have shale and clay with a fine sprinkling of dust. I'm sure we had the garden center all confused when I insisted (loudly) that I needed, must have, cannot live without 150 pounds of organic, dried manure.
I REALLY confused my uncle when I called and asked if I could have some really fresh horse manure (manure tea). Stinky, but it works wonders.
Hey....I have 4 dogs and 3 cats. I'm not afraid of a little herbivore dung.
~
Michael is impatiently waiting for just a few more tomatoes..the man loves my salsa.
Smoked sea salt..I'm telling you, People. I also skip the cilantro and throw in whatever herbs are taking over the herb bed.

Had the camera while I was pillaging. I do a bastardized Cottage Garden. Flowers by the ton, with veggies stuck in here and there.








On that note, I'm taking my 800mg of ibuprofen and heading to bed. Damned wisdom teeth, anyway!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Friday..Phlox and Dogs

Phlox, with our foggy woods behind them



The boys enjoying Outside:






My lovely, wonderful old girl:

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Storm photo


In my flustered state, I forgot to post yet another storm photo!
I love the pics I get during these beastly storms..but uh...enough storms already!

Maybe you didn't get the memo...

Beware the rant!


I am..totally astounded.
A friend of mine is very upset because I won't be home tomorrow when she wanted to drop in.
Pardon me for having a doctors appointment.

I think a large chunk of Humankind didn't get the "It Isn't All About YOU" memo.

The text msg I received said, "Well great. We never see each other, and that's the only day I have free!" She goes on to say that she's having a hard time right now, with the new house they are building and all, so I should try a little harder.
Mmm hmmmm.
I'm sure things are very stressful for her...no debate there.
But, at some point, things are stressful for everyone..and it's all relative to your own situation...
Does that mean we should all cater to everyone, all the time?

No one is catering to our every whim, my dears.
And if they are, WE need smacked around for allowing it! ;)
No, really..we do...all winkie faces aside.

NO one deserves that, no matter how tough their life has been.
Treating someone with extra kindness and tenderness is one thing..that's what we deserve from our fellow humans.
Expecting someone to arrange their life around your big ol' grown-up self?
Yow.

Part of Dear Friends problem is..she's been spoiled and coddled and appeased her whole life.
I've known her for years..since childhood..
If she didn't get her way, she acted like a Raging Bitch. Her family, then most friends and lovers, would quickly change things just to shut her up.
"No" and "do it your damned self" are/were just NOT in her vocabulary.

Weird, what we realize about people we've known forever!

Annnnnd that's the end of my giant rant.
Bless you if you managed to read the whole damned thing!